Arms
by gingaloid
Summary: Pansy and Draco's relationship has always been anything but normal. **I really suck at summaries**


**A/N: I became obsessed with Christina Perri for a while, and of course, a songfic was in order. This is to _Arms_ by Christina Perri. I do not own the song or the lyrics, nor do I own the characters presented in this story. All characters are property of J.K. Rowling. Lyrics are property of Christina Perri.**

* * *

><p><em>I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart<em>_  
><em>_But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start_

He paced around the drawing room of the Malfoy Manor. He was waiting for Pansy to arrive, and he was nervous as ever. She wasn't set to arrive for at least another half an hour, but he couldn't keep running through his head what to say, what to do, how to act…he'd been preparing for this as long as he could remember and now that the time was here, he was coming up blank in his mind. He turned over the small velvet box in his hands as he paced, praying that somehow, he'd know what to say when he needed to…

Draco Malfoy had known Pansy Parkinson since the age of three. Their mothers were on Wizarding Women committees together and their fathers were friends during their Hogwarts years. When he was three, his mother walked into his room and sat him down one morning, just after breakfast.

"Draco, dear, you are going to have a special visitor today. It's quite important that you behave your best when she arrives," Narcissa said in a calm, loving voice.

"Ew, a girl! Why?" he asked, his face scrunched up in mild distaste.

"She's going to be very important to you one day – a very good friend, I am sure. So be on your best behavior, okay, son?"

"I twy!"

He smiled up at his mother, but could not understand why a _girl_ of all things would be important to him one day. Girls had cooties! They smelled too clean and didn't like to play in the garden. Nonetheless, he didn't throw a fit when his mother dressed him up in his little grey suit, complete with tie and dress shoes. He complained a bit when she insisted on slicking back his hair with copious amounts of hair gel, but other than that, he practiced his good behavior. He ate very daintily, doing his best not to mess up his suit, and only played with his 'mild' toys so as not to mess up his slicked back hair. Finally, at tea time, there was a loud POP!

"Draco! Come downstairs and meet your new friend!" his mother called up after a few minutes. Groaning, Draco ordered their house elf, Dobby, to clean up his mess and stomped his way downstairs.

Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, Draco set eyes on two new faces. The first face was that of a rather tall, dark-haired woman. She looked something like a dog in the nasal area, and her teeth did nothing to disprove the three-year-old's mental image of her being part dog somehow. She wasn't as thin as his own mother and she had a perpetual scowl on her face that made her look rather unfriendly.

The second new face was that of a girl who was just barely taller than himself. She had shining brown eyes and shiny brown hair that fell in waves just above her collar bone. She was wearing a green dress with sparkles on it and a matching green hair bow and sparkly shoes. Her nose was quite like her mothers, but it was smaller and less prominent. Instead of a scowl, the girl had a shy smile on her face.

"Draco, this is Mrs. Parkinson and her daughter, Pansy."

The first woman, Mrs. Parkinson, nodded to Draco, and Pansy walked over to him and held out her hand, "Hello. It's lovely to meet you."

Draco giggled. The little girl had the squeakiest voice he had ever heard, and he found it rather funny. Taking her hand in his, he shook it, "Hello."

Pansy beamed and giggled, taking her hand back and clasping it with her other behind her back. She looked to her mother for approval. Her mother nodded once, rather coldly at Pansy.

"Draco, why don't you and Pansy go out to the garden? You can show her all the lovely flowers while her mother and I have tea."

"Yes, mother," Draco replied and started toward the front door. He turned around upon reaching it and raised his little eyebrow at Pansy, "Well? I know you're a girl, but are you coming or not?"

Pansy shyly walked toward him and followed when he went to the garden, her mother shouting after her that she is not to be a stupid girl and ruin her dress. Once outside, Draco took her to the garden and pointed at the flowers.

"There are flowers. Now let's play."

Pansy scowled slightly, "I don't want to play. I want to look at the flowers!"

"You have to play! It's my house and my rules and my yard and I say you are going to play, Pansy!"

"No! You can't make me, Drake!" she crossed her arms, quite determined not to play with him, but to look at the flowers instead.

Draco squinted at her, "You have to the count of three, or else!"

"Or what?"

"One…"

"Drake, or what?"

"Two…"

"TELL ME WHAT!"

"Three!" Draco exclaimed before running right at Pansy and shoving her, causing her to fall backward on her bottom. Her lower lip quivered as she looked up at Draco. Her new dress was now covered with dirt from the damp grass, and she did not appreciate being pushed. Her mouth slowly turned down into a frown and a sing tear rolled down her cheek.

Draco laughed. Important indeed! This girl was not only a cootie carrier, but she was also a cry-baby. He just pushed her! What a weak little girl. There was no way ever that she'd ever be important to him!

Angrily wiping her tear away from her cheek with a muddy hand, Pansy stood up. She put her three year old hands on her hips and stared at Draco. Her little face was set in a scowl as she glared at him.

"Stop laughing at me. Or else."

"Or else what?"

"One…"

"My house! My rules!"

"Two…"

Draco opened his mouth to retort, but Pansy didn't even give him the courtesy to say three aloud. She took a deep breath and charged right at him, letting out a squeal as she shoved him with all her might and smirked in satisfaction, crossing her arms when he fell back onto his bottom as well.

Looking up at the girl, Draco was stunned. Nobody ever fought back.

_Maybe this girl will be alright…_ he thought to himself as he got up.

"So," he said, "You want to look at the flowers?"

"Yes. I want to look at the flowers," Pansy replied and turned, a small smile forming on her little face as she looked at the flowers, her arms hanging at her side.

Draco walked over to her and stood next to her, looking at the flowers. After a moment, he extended his chubby hand out to the side and took Pansy's hand, not saying anything when she looked at him.

_You put your arms around me__  
><em>_And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go__  
><em>_You put your arms me and I'm home_

Draco looked up as Pansy stepped into the drawing room. She was breathtaking. Her long hair was lightly curled and hung just above her waist, a small green bow clipped into one side of her hair. She wore a green dress and matching shoes, and Draco couldn't help but laugh lightly.

_Just like the day we met_, he thought, _Some things never change._

She beamed as she walked over to him, throwing her arms around his waist and squeezing lightly. Draco wrapped his arms around the girl, returning the pressure and resting his chin on her head. He smiled as her scent enveloped him – vanilla and lavender. Being with her always felt perfect, like they were made to be together. He loved her far more than any person should ever love another individual. Though he loved her as much as he did, he felt quite unsure of himself. How could she love him back after everything? He'd hurt her in school, both emotionally and physically. He'd been a Death Eater. He'd almost killed their Headmaster. He was far from perfect, and even farther from being deserving of the beautiful creature he had in his arms. She could walk away any moment, and it would be the easiest thing in the world for her. There was no way that she could love him as he loved her, even though she claimed she did.

It was in these moments, though, that Draco didn't care. There was a time during the war when he thought he'd never see Pansy again. He thought for sure he would have died in the fire had Harry not pulled him out of the fire, and ever since then, he'd come to appreciate his time with Pansy more. Right now, they were in each other's arms, and that was all that mattered in those moments.

_How many times will let you me change my mind and turn around?__  
><em>_I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown..._

Ever since the day they met, Pansy knew that she liked Draco. Of course, she was three and only thought it meant that she didn't mind his cooties, but as she got older, she realized that she liked him as far more than a friend. They were best friends by the time they reached seven years old, which meant that they saw quite a bit of each other. When they got to school, though, things changed.

Sure, she had made a few friends at Hogwarts, but Draco had made even more. He had Blaise and Crabbe and Goyle, Nott, and all the other boys in Slytherin House seemed to want to be best friends with Draco. Pansy made friends with Millicent Bullstrode on the first day of school during first year. She was a short, pudgy little girl with freckles and a fierce love of food.

Though Draco was on top of the social ladder, he still at least had people who wanted to be his friend. None of the girls – save Millicent – wanted to be friends with Pansy. They were all frightened of her, and none of them wanted to cross her. It probably didn't help that she was prone to tantrums when she was displeased and would pull the nearest girl's hair if she looked at her funnily.

She missed her best friend deeply, though. Draco seemed to forget about her most of the time, and when he remembered her, it was to tease her with the other boys in their grade, making fun of her hair or her clothes…their favourite was taking a stab at her nose and the fact that it was upturned. 'Puggy Parkinson' they called her. It hurt her deeply that they were so rude to her. Well, more that Draco was so rude to her. Of course they would joke with each other and not be the _nicest_ about the joking, but that was different. It was just the two of them then and they knew the other meant no harm. This was different. They were in front of people, and she felt like he meant it when he would taunt and torment her.

The tormenting never stopped until fourth year, and that was only for the month of December when he asked Pansy to attend the Yule Ball with him. After the ball, though, things went back to normal – him ignoring her or teasing him, and her feeling sad and just trying to get his attention back. Even the summers were strained, as he was 'with the guys' a lot of the time, and Pansy just fell out of the loop.

Still, Pansy never gave up, and finally, in sixth year, Draco asked her to be his girlfriend. Overjoyed, she said yes. Of course yes! She was finally being rewarded for her persistence and she'd never been happier. She was his girlfriend. She was _Draco's_ girlfriend. All the other girls could be jealous of her now, instead of her getting jealous over every girl Draco even glanced at.

The beginning of their relationship was perfect. He seemed to care about her and genuinely make an effort to make her happy, as she did for him. Slowly, though, things began to change. He became increasingly distant and secretive. He was stressed often, and if she pushed him too far when he was stressed, he'd put her in her place by whacking her across the face. Draco always felt terrible when it would happen, but Pansy would tell him not to worry. She understood that he was stressed and she shouldn't have been egging him on.

"It's okay," was her constant mantra, "Draco, it's okay. I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

After some time, though, she couldn't deal with his attitude and moods. She knew he was just stressed and busy, but she couldn't help but think that he was being distant because he didn't want to be with her any longer. It's when she would start feeling like this that she would argue for the sake of arguing. He said something funny? Argue. She didn't like his hair that day? Argue. He walked too fast? Argue. Small things, but that was the only way she could think to get his attention, and when he stopped arguing and started walking away, she started threatening with break ups, or flat out breaking up with him.

Every time she would, she could see something in him break. Something small would change, the look in his eyes would go slightly dull, and she'd know that he still wanted to be with her. Each time they'd break up, she'd feel awful and go right back to him, crying and apologizing him. Pansy would repeatedly tell Draco that she was wrong and stupid to do such a thing and she was sorry and would never do it again. It was a lie, as a few days later, the pattern would repeat, but he never turned her away. He always took her back. She wondered if ever a time would come when he would stop taking her back and tell her she couldn't change her mind anymore. Eventually, a time would come where he would stop pulling her out of the messes she made, and she'd have to deal without him…

_I hope that you see right through my walls__  
><em>_I hope that you catch me cause I'm already falling__  
><em>_I'll never let a love get so close__  
><em>_You put your arms around me and I'm home_

Draco was deeply frustrated by the constant break ups Pansy would initiate. Each one broke him differently, and each one cut him deeper. How could she care about him as much as she claimed if it were so easy for her to walk away from him? Sure, she always came back, and of course he always took her back, but he couldn't understand why it was so easy for her to break up with him as often as she did.

He'd been recruited to join the Dark Lord the summer after his fifth year, and he couldn't bring himself to tell Pansy. Not yet, anyways. He didn't want to worry her or hurt her, or even worse, have her walk away for good because of the people he was associated with. To say that he was stressed was putting it lightly. He was frightened and worried of the consequences if he were unable to complete the task that had been set before him. Protecting his mother and protecting Pansy was what mattered, and though he became more distant, he hoped Pansy would see that it was a self-preservation mechanism. He didn't want to be distant from her, but he didn't know how to balance equally the two biggest parts of his life.

The thing Pansy didn't seem to understand was that he needed her. Whether he was stressed or not, even when he would slip up and hit her, he needed her. She was his support system, and the only way he made it through some days was by leaning on her as much as he could emotionally. She was his rock and she was what kept him going when he wasn't sure how in the world he was supposed to accomplish his mission. Draco would just think of Pansy and tell himself that he was doing this for her. He was protecting her, and that was enough to keep him going.

Still, though, he needed to be distant. Draco was determined not to allow Pansy to get too attached to him. If he failed, he would die. If he died, he needed her to be able to move on with her life, even though he wanted nothing more than for her to love him so much, so powerfully, that even the thought of being with another man would kill her. He wanted so badly for her to want him and only him forever.

For that he was distant. For that, he leaned on her every time he started falling. For that, he fought to do what he needed to. It was for that very reason that he never gave into her, even when they had their worst fight ever.

_The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved__  
><em>_I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone__  
><em>_You put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go...  
>I hope that you see right through my walls<em>_  
><em>_I hope that you catch me cause I'm already falling__  
><em>_I'll never let a love get so close__  
><em>_You put your arms around me and I'm home..._

Pansy's mother had always been cold and distant, even when she was younger. Her mother would nod coldly at her, and she never said that she loved Pansy. Mrs. Parkinson was wildly inconvenienced by her daughter and had no problem smacking or starving the girl to be sure that she was aware of her extreme inconvenience.

The girl had grown accustomed to this treatment, believing that she was an inconvenience to most everyone – even Draco, though he never flat out said so. She'd do things to try and get attention from her mother, even bad attention because it was still something. When Pansy turned seventeen, she decided she wasn't getting enough attention from her mother. She planned the worst thing she'd ever done and stole a muggle car, crashing it into her mother's upstairs bedroom window. She then apparated to Gringott's and cleared out her mother's account, spending all the money on clothes and shoes and books.

Upon returning home weighed down with parcels and a smile on her face, her mother threw her out of the house. Mrs. Parkinson, aided by Mr. Parkinson, smacked Pansy around, hitting her and throwing curse after curse at her. They spit terrible words at her, "You're ugly," "You're fat," "You're a terrible child," "You don't deserve anything."

It wasn't anything Pansy hadn't been told before, but this time, she felt it more. She believed it more. She stood there as her possessions were set on fire and she realized that her world had just fallen apart before her eyes and it was her fault. She was a terrible child, a terrible daughter, she didn't deserve love. She wasn't worthy of anything remotely good in the world. That night, she went back to Hogwarts and found Draco, determined to rid herself of everything good in the world that she didn't deserve – starting with him. She was about to begin their worst fight ever.

Storming into the Slytherin Common Room, she saw Draco sitting before the fire, "Oi, arsehole! We need to talk!"

Without waiting for a reply, she walked out of the Common Room, knowing he would follow. When she got out to the hall, she walked a bit from the entrance to the Common Room and stood against the wall, waiting for him to walk over to her.

"Pansy, what…?"

"We're done. This time, I'm serious. It's over."

The words killed her to speak, but she couldn't be an inconvenience anymore. She had to relieve him of the chore of dealing with her. She had to bite the bullet.

Draco's eyes widened as he took in her cut up and bruised appearance, "Pansy…"

"No! I'm serious!"

"What happened to you?"

"My parents made it clear just how unwelcome I am to the world, and I can't say that I disagree with them. I am nothing but an inconvenience! I am an ugly inconvenience and I can't impose on anyone else's life anymore, most of all yours. You're already stressed all the time and you hit me or get cross and I just – no! I can't! You're free, okay? You don't have to put up with me anymore! I hurt you, all the time. I am constantly hurting you and breaking up with you, and I can't hurt you anymore if you aren't with me anymore, so we're done!"

"Put up with you? Pansy, I lo–"

"DON'T YOU DARE! DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME YOU LOVE ME WHEN I AM TRYING TO END THIS!"

"But I do, Pansy, and if you'd just let me show you, you'd see that they—"

"That they what? THAT THEY ARE WRONG? NO. DON'T LIE TO ME, AND DON'T TELL ME YOU LOVE ME BECAUSE…BECAUSE…"

She wiped her eyes as anger made them water. Pansy knew what she had to do and the very thought of it ripped her heart to pieces. Taking a breath she looked at him as he asked, "Because what?"

"Because I don't love you," she spat the words at him with so much ferocity, she even believed it.

Draco walked toward her and she looked up into his eyes. The hurt on his face was unbearable and she almost broke her act. How could she stand there and break him, then let him believe what she was saying? She was lying through her teeth, but she had to do this. She didn't deserve love, and she couldn't force him to stick around her when he could have someone so much better.

Pansy sniffled slightly as Draco wrapped his arms around her. She put her arms around him and stood as he put his lips to the top of her head. Did he see through her? He had to see that she was lying, that she couldn't possibly live without him. She hugged him tightly, holding onto the one place where she truly felt safe.

"Okay," he said, his voice cracking slightly.

"Okay?"

"Okay. It's over. I'll be seeing you, Pans." He kissed the top of her head lightly, then removed Pansy's hands and walked away from her, not turning back once.

Pansy stared. She couldn't believe that she'd just told him she didn't love him. Even more, she couldn't believe that he just let her go so easily. Though it was the hardest thing for Draco to do to walk away from her, Pansy would never believe that. All she could do was believe it was that easy for him to let her go. She really was alone.

Draco released Pansy and held her at arm's length, "My Rowling, Pansy. You get more beautiful each time I see you."

The woman blushed, "You don't look so bad yourself, Draco."

He smiled.

"So tell me, what is this surprise that you were taunting me with all week?"

"Oh. Uh, well first, we have reservations at _Le Bloo Blee_, that French place you love," he said, offering her his arm.

"Oh!" Pansy exclaimed, taking Draco's arm.

He apparated them to the restaurant and sat down at the table he'd reserved for them, complete with candles and roses. He picked up the bouquet and handed it to Pansy, "For you, Mi'Lady."

Pansy took the flowers and smiled, "Thank you! They're lovely, Draco."

Upon sitting, their food appeared before them and Pansy looked up at Draco, "This isn't usual service…"

Draco chucked, "No, it isn't, but we have to get to the park soon, so I thought this was more efficient."

"The park," she took a bite, "One more clue to help me try to figure out this surprise."

Draco ate, never taking his eyes off of his girlfriend. The butterflies in his stomach were fluttering wildly and curbing his appetite quite a bit, but he forced himself to eat as he normally would. There was no way he could give up his lovely surprise to Pansy. She couldn't guess this one, for once, he wanted her to be truly surprised.

Luckily, Pansy had no clue what the surprise was and she didn't really care. She just wanted an evening with Draco, so she didn't push him for details.

_I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth__  
><em>_And I've never opened up I've never truly loved__  
><em>_Til you put your arms around__  
><em>_And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go_

Pansy was able to keep up the charade of being uninterested in Draco for two weeks before she finally couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't stand seeing other girls talking to him, she couldn't stand sitting on the opposite end of the Slytherin Table from him and she hated sitting next to Theodore Nott in Potions, who constantly tried to make passes at her now that she wasn't with Draco.

On the fifteenth day of being apart, she stormed over to him while he was in a group with all of his guy friends, "SERIOUSLY?"

He looked at her and cocked an eyebrow, "Sorry?"

"Are you kidding me? Why didn't you come after me? Do you – what is your problem? Why didn't you come for me?" she asked, her voice full of accusations and desperation.

Draco stood and grabbed her arm, pulling away from the group and whispering, "Could you be quieter? You said you didn't want me, and you made it very clear that you were serious. I was not about to push you farther from me by trying to get you back."

"Of course I wanted you! How could you believe what I said after everything – after our whole lives of knowing each other? Of course I wanted you, Draco."

"Pansy, I opened up to you about most everything I could and I got closer to you than I should have. It never made sense for you to choose to be with me, but you did. You're – well, you're the only girl I've ever loved, and that means I loved you enough to let you walk away when you said you needed to; when you truly made it seem like you meant it. I walked away for you."

Draco spoke the words with such honesty and such earnest, she had no choice but to believe what he was telling her. Nodding, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him.

"Draco, I'm sorry. Please, please take me back. Please. I – I love you, too. So much."

She felt him return the pressure in a hug and she smiled into his shoulder when, after a few moments, he said, "Okay. But, Pansy? Never do that again, because this won't be the end result."

She nodded, "I promise."

Even though she believed everything he said to her, she couldn't help but have a small voice in the back of her head telling her that he walked away once, and it would be very easy for him to walk away again.

-*-  
><em>I hope that you see right through my walls<em>_  
><em>_I hope that you catch me cause I'm already falling__  
><em>_I'll never let a love get so close__  
><em>_You put your arms around me and I'm home..._

After getting back with Pansy during their sixth year, things went so much smoother than before. They'd learned to read each other better and support each other through everything. Though each of them secretly vowed not to let the other get too close, they each got closer than they ever would have imagined possible. To say that they loved each other immensely would have been an understatement.

They still argued like cats and dogs, though. It became habit and they were called "The old married couple of Slytherin" because of their constant bickering.

When the war began, Pansy and Draco were separated by circumstance and it took them months to finally locate each other. Both searched endlessly, determined to find the other if it was the last thing they ever did. Pansy was just leaving a small muggle village when Draco apparated in the middle of the road. Crying, she ran to him and threw her arms around him, hardly believing they'd finally found each other. That night, they swore to never leave the other, finally realizing their full importance to the other.

After dinner, Draco took Pansy to Hyde Park, making the excuse that he just wanted to take a stroll with her when the park was almost empty. She went without complaint and smiled through their whole stroll, thinking that this was the most perfect date that they'd been on in quite a while.

About twenty minutes into their walk, Draco walked over to a tree and leaned against it, "Recognize this one?"

Pansy looked around, then smiled wider, "We had our first date after the war here!"

Draco nodded, "We did. It's one of my favourite places to be and I thought it would be perfect for tonight."

"Oh really, sir? And why, may I ask, is that?" she giggled, crossing her arms as she always did when she was being nosy.

Draco stood straight and looked at her, taking a deep breath. This was it.

"Pansy, when we were three, I thought you had cooties. I really didn't want to meet you that first day – at all. When we were in Hogwarts, I ignored you and teased you because I liked you and I didn't know how to tell you what I was feeling. When you agreed to go out with me in sixth year, it was the best day of my life and I will forever try to make up for everything that I ever did wrong to you. Because you're special. You're so unique and you're that one girl that every man looks for, but never seems to find, because there is only _one_ in the world, and somehow I am lucky enough to have been the one to find you. You're my everything, Pansy. You're my life, my rock, my support…my home. I love you far more than words can say and I would be so deeply honoured if you would do me the pleasure of being my wife." Draco pulled the little box out of his pocket and opened it, flashing a diamond ring in Pansy's direction.

Pansy looked from Draco to the ring and back again. A hand raised to her mouth as she took in a sharp breath, "Draco, I…yes. Yes! One thousand times yes, Draco."

"Yes?"

"Yes!" she threw her arms around him and kissed him with the passion of a thousand universes colliding.

After a long kiss, Draco pulled away and slipped the ring on her finger, smiling wider than he ever had before. He kissed Pansy again and apparated her back to the Manor without breaking the kiss.

_You put your arms around me and I'm home._

**Inspired by: **_**Arms**_** by Christina Perri **


End file.
